say what you need to say

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

So i have never had a song or anything speak to me so much. if you want to get in depth with torrey...well...here is you chance. lets break it down...

i guess i feel like my problems are soooo much greater than everyone else. who doesn't. but i will say this. you know. its weird. me and Courtney haven't been together for a long time, and i really guess i can't speak to weather it is strange or not but to this day i still love that girl with all of my heart. if i must tell the truth i dream about her most every night and i usually try to go back to sleep to be back in the dream. lets take for instance...

last night i had a dream that i was talking to her on the phone and i saw her and i was the greatest moment in my life since the last time that i saw her. we weren't talking about anything pleasant but it was still the best dream of my life and i would give anything to be back in it. i know, i know, fucked up. but the fact of the matter remains, i still do and until the day i die i will love that girl with all of my heart.

i mean seriously...every night, you think im kidding but i'm not, i look forward to dreaming just so that i can be in the presence of her. i miss her so much. and i hope that some day we will be able to see each other again... ahh....no one gets it. i would give anything just to "Really" see her face. its a love like i've never known. i feel like i've ,made so many mistakes that i don't even deserve it...but i said what i needed to say.

ok lets talk about this...
"Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again"

you know i don't have any idea if my mouth not saying what i did(lord knows i made my mistakes) would have made any difference. maybe, maybe not. i'll say i know that i always said what i felt and sometimes it makes it hard to deal with but i DO NOT think that in any way i could have changed the outcome.

Courtney, i miss you so much, more than i could ever describe, i hope you know how much i love and loved you and never doubt it. you will be my one and only forever.